Points to ponder . . .
- If the speed of light is 186,000 miles per second, what is the speed of dark?
- Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
- When you're sending someone Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
- Did Indians bother with bald cowboys? Why take a scalp? What are they going to do with a beanie?
- Why are there Braille signs on drive-up ATM's?
- If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras?
- How come you never hear about "gruntled" employees?
- What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
- After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
- What's another word for "synonym"?
- If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
- When sign makers go on strike, who writes their picket signs?
- Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
- Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
- Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
- Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
- Why
is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment,
but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo?
- Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
- Why do we park in driveways and drive on parkways?
- Why isn't "phonetically" spelled phonetically?
- Where are Preparations A through G?
- If your knees were bent the other way, what would a chair look like?
- When you open a new bag of cotton balls, are you supposed to throw the top one away?
- When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
- What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
- If an "orange" is orange, why isn't a lime called a "green" or a lemon called a "yellow"?
- Why do your feet smell, but your nose runs?
- If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
- Do hermits have peer pressure?
- Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories ...
- There's a fine line between fishing, and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
- How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?
- When
I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He
said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15." I said, "The middle of August?
Cool!"
- I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
- I live on a one-way dead-end street.
- It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.
- Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.
- I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, "No thanks -- I'm not going that far."
- I played a blank tape on full volume. The mime who lives next door complained.
- Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?
- When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
