"Donald Trump still hasn't released his tax returns. 12 women have accused him of sexual assault. He's going on trial for fraud for Trump University in November. Now the only thing the media's talking about is emails. It's like if, during the O.J.trial, everyone was focused on whether or not the Ford Bronco had an up-to-date registration." Seth Meyers
"The Boston Globe just reported that according to his campaign staff,Donald Trump wouldn't take any vacations as president. I think that'sbecause he has offended so many other countries he can't leave this one." Jimmy Fallon
"Donald Trump and I have a lot in common. We both fantasize about having sex with Ivanka." Anonymous
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